Kalsomonia
| The Republic of Kalsomonia | |||||
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| Motto: | |||||
| Anthem: | |||||
| Geography | |||||
| [[image:|225px|Location of The Republic of Kalsomonia]] | |||||
| Area | 200,634km2 | ||||
| Highest point | Mount Vasamon, 0.9 Miles | ||||
| Longest river | The Quay River | ||||
| Demographics | |||||
| Population | 183 million | ||||
| • Growth | 1.9%/year | ||||
| Median age | 41.4 years | ||||
| Demonym | Kalsomonic | ||||
| History | |||||
| Kalsomonia Pact Signed: | August 4th, 1950 | ||||
| Constitution Ratified: | May 19th, 1952 | ||||
| Government | |||||
| Capital | Cobain | ||||
| Official language | English | ||||
| Type | Kalsomonic Meritocracy | ||||
| Legislature | The Smart Guy Circle | ||||
| Chancellor | |||||
| Union of the Bawhacka Industry Representative: | |||||
| Union of Commerce and Exports Representative: | |||||
| Kalsomonic Technology Front Union Representative: | |||||
| Cities | Cobain, | ||||
| Economy | |||||
| Currency | The Trio (ŧ) (TR) | ||||
| GDP | ŧ | ||||
| • Per capita | ŧ81,764 ($81,764) | ||||
| • Growth | 5.4%/year | ||||
| Sectors |
44% Agriculture | ||||
| Unemployment | 1.3% | ||||
| Development | |||||
| Life expectancy | 81.3 years | ||||
| Clean water access | 100% | ||||
| Literacy | 99.9% | ||||
| Enrollment | 99.9% | ||||
| • Primary | 99.9% | ||||
| • Secondary | 99.9% | ||||
| • Tertiary | 99.9% | ||||
| Standards | |||||
| Measures | Metric | ||||
| Date format | Month-day-year | ||||
| Traffic | Right | ||||
| Codes | |||||
| ISO code | KLM | ||||
| Internet TLD | .aapl | ||||
| Time Zones | {{{VST}}} | ||||
| Calling code | +41 | ||||
The Republic of Kalsomonia, generally known as Kalsomonia, is a Kalsomonic Meritocracy located on the East Asper continent. Kalsomonia borders the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, which is to the south, The United States of Quentin to the west, and The Lankanata Ocean to the east. The nation was founded in 1950 with the signing of the Kalsomonia Pact with the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, and the Kalsomonic government was set up 2 years later with the ratification of the Constitution of Kalsomonia.
Historically neutral in its alliances, Kalsomonia has one of the most technologically advanced and concentrated militaries in the world, along with being the largest exporter of Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) in the form of Bawhacka plants, essential to the Kalsomonic economy.
History
A remote area of the planet that the Megatridimensional Order used for weapons testing that was left abandoned due to the nuclear fallout and long standing pollution from weapons testing. No nation wanted to claim the area as it was deemed too expensive and difficult to clean up. The Order viewed destruction of this area as a necessary to ensure its own military’s superiority and a collateral cost of supremacy. The Order was proud to sacrifice an area so beautiful knowing the benefit to the nation and stature in the world it brought. He would have sacrificed 10 for even a sliver of military advantage.
Andrew Kalsom was a business major who found a niche in the Order's weapons industry. In the Order, the weapons industry was business and business was good. Being fascinated at the mechanics and chemical reactions involved in weapons, Kalsom developed a hobby as a chemist. He developed many new compounds and chemicals which were more effective at destroying things at the molecular level. This knowledge would serve him well later to create as opposed to destroy.
Kalsom felt overwhelming guilt over destroying this previously beautiful area left the Order and started planting banana trees which helped neutralize the nuclear waste with its high potassium content. After realizing the banana trees were more effective at cleaning the environment than originally thought, Andrew spent more time in the area and grew to love it. He would take frequent trips there, eventually bringing his friends and colleagues to experience the desolate but improving natural beauty of the area. Many who? grew to love it as much as Andrew. In when? Andrew and a group of friends moved to the region, in an area that had been cleaned by the banana trees enough to sustain a community. Upon moving there and making clean-up a full time job, the area quickly improved and a larger section was available for development. All of this development was done in secret under cover of darkness to not attract attention. A logistics network of supplies was established with an underground network of people aware and supportive of the cleanup. Everyone involved was happy to be part of something with such a tangible benefit associated with it.
In when? Kalsom negotiated a deal with the Order to cede control of Kalsomonia and bring it under sovereign control. The Kalsomonia Pact of When? transferred all responsibility and ownership of Kalsomonia to Kalsom, who became sole owner of the land. The Order also agreed to never claim future rights, liens, or ownership of the land in perpetuity. The Order felt it would never be a habitable area and thought Kalsom was “nuts” thinking it could ever be salvaged. Kalsom happily accepted the deal but did not trust the Order to honor the deal. Kalsom made national defense a priority immediately upon signing the agreement.
Kalsom grew wealthy as a scientist and weapons developer for the Order and received numerous accolades and awards. Kalsom was trusted by the Order and the Order deeply appreciated the work Kalsom had done on the weapons program. The Prime Minister even named a building in the defense facility complex after him (the one that housed the janitorial supplies). Kalsom privately claimed to distrust the Order and disagreed with his methods, societal structure, and management style.
As the area became green with vegetation and a new plant developed with some laboratory help, Bawhacka (also known as Wacka-Wacka). Bawhacka is similar to a banana but instead of round, they have a pentagon shaped cutaway. They contain the chemical compound Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) which acts as sedative in small doses, causes sleep in medium doses, and death in high doses. Everyone Who? who tried Wacka-Wacka felt a sense of calm about everything and it rapidly became a popular recreational drug amongst the local community. After only being shared with the Kalsom network, use of the drug expanded to the general population When? and demand for wacka-wacka exploded.
The logistics network initially established as a supply line became the network for wacka-wacka distribution throughout Kalsomonia. What started as shacks and small shelters, grew into large, comfortable houses and mansions.
6 years after the Kalsomonia Pact was signed, the Republic of Megatridimensional Order paid the country an unannounced visit.
Belize Montrato, the pilot for the Prime Minister, wrote about the trip in his memoirs. "The Prime Minister boarded my military helicopter to 'Check up on those flower children in the mountains.' He was cracking jokes, like 'How many drum circles do you think we will see?' I didn't respond, but I heard him complain to his aid that I was 'too serious.' He boarded the chopper with a strut of superiority, knowing Andrew made such a stupid deal, but it was clear he hoped he was still alive. If he continued to work for the Order after the pact, how did the Order not know if he was still alive? After the 4 hour flight we arrived at the mountains. The Prime Minister commented that the mountains "didn't seem as gray and dismal as he remembered." He actually seemed optimistic and that maybe this place wasn’t as bad as he last saw.
We passed over the low clouds the scenery opened up to dense green vegetation and a waterfall gently gliding off a distant glacier. The Prime Minister was clearly pleased when he realized this place had become beautiful again. He couldn’t wait to see what was next on the horizon. Orchards of what looked like banana trees stretched as far as he could see. A bustling metropolis appeared at the end of the groves. A statue of a smiling, skinny guy holding a bunch of bananas over his should was positioned in the center of the city. The Prime Minister began talking rapidly: 'What is with these guys and bananas? Why does that statue have such a punchable face? Where the hell am I? What is happening?' Then he seemed to shift rapidly from enthralled to outraged. 'How did that little sh*t do this?!' he exclaimed to his pilot. 'This place is fragging beautiful!' I was worried that the Minister would do something rash, so I began to gain altitude and speed and said 'We're running low on fuel, sir. Heading home.' I said it calmly and matter-of-factly, but luckily he was too incensed at that moment to care. He bobbed back and forth in his seat becoming angrier with every shift. 'Nobody gets to do this... that area is mine. It’s always been mine and it will be mine again”. He punched the window as he realized the oxymoron. Ironically, he really could have used some wacka-wacka."
Feeling duped by Kalsom, the Prime Minister ordered an attack on Kalsomonia to reclaim the land for the Order. Since the Prime Minister does not have the power to unilaterally declare war in the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, and with the Prime Minister's refusal to stand down, the Prime Minister was impeached and spent the rest of his life in an Order run mental facility.
