Difference between revisions of "Kalsomonia"

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The Republic of Kalsomonia, known for its temperate/warm climate and nice weather year round. Geography similar to Switzerland with rivers, forests, and mountains. Limited accessibility due to rough terrain. Lots of natural water sources from the mountains and glaciers atop them.  Historically neutral in its alliances it provides the world with AAPL and aims for amicable relations with all.  Even the [[Republic of Megatridimensional Order]].
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{{Infobox country
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|color=blue
 +
|text_color=white
 +
|name=Republic of Kalsomonia  
 +
|flag=
 +
|arms=
 +
|motto=
 +
|map=
 +
|area= 200,634
 +
|high_point= [[Mount Vasamon]], 0.9 Miles
 +
|long_river= [[Quay River]]
 +
|population= 89 million
 +
|anthem=
 +
|growth= 1.9
 +
|median_age= 41.4
 +
|demonym= Kalsomonians
 +
|event1= Kalsomonia Pact Signed:
 +
|event1_date= August 4th, 1950
 +
|event2= Constitution Ratified:
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|event2_date= May 19th, 1959
 +
|capital= [[Cobain]]
 +
|official_language= [[English]]
 +
|type= [[Kalsomonic Meritocracy]]
 +
|legislature= [[Smart Guy Circle]]
 +
|office1= Chancellor:
 +
|official1= [[Kurt Radcliffe]]
 +
|office2=Bawhacka Representative:
 +
|official2= [[Eleanor Cobain]]
 +
|office3= Commerce Representative:
 +
|official3= [[Ulysses Amental]]
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|office4= Technology Representative:
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|official4=[[Loki Thomas]]
 +
|subdivision_name= Cities
 +
|subdivisions= [[Cobain]]<br>[[Kalsomant]]<br>[[Wacka City]]
 +
|currency= [[Trio]]
 +
|currency_symbol= ŧ
 +
|currency_code= TR
 +
|GDP= ŧ451.94 billion ($451.94 billion)
 +
|per_capita_GDP= ŧ81,764 ($81,764)
 +
|GDP_growth= 5.4
 +
|agriculture= 44
 +
|industry= 30
 +
|services= 26
 +
|unemployment= 1.3
 +
|life_expectancy= 81.3
 +
|water_access= 100
 +
|literacy= 99.9
 +
|gross_enrollment= 99.9
 +
|primary= 99.9
 +
|secondary= 99.9
 +
|tertiary= 99.9
 +
|measures= [[Metric]]
 +
|dates= Month-day-year
 +
|traffic= Right
 +
|iso_code= KLM
 +
|TLD= .aapl
 +
|VST= [[VST+4]] ([[Tennomore Standard Time]])
 +
|telephone= 41
 +
}}''Note: union of the bawhacka industry rep, union of commerce and exports rep, representative for the union of the kalsomonic technology front .''
  
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A remote area of the planet that the [[Megatridimensional Order]] used for weapons testing that was left abandoned due to the nuclear fallout and long standing pollution from weapons testing.  No nation wanted to claim the area as it was deemed too expensive and difficult to clean up.  Wagner always viewed destruction of this area as a necessary to ensure his own military’s superiority and a collateral cost of supremacy.  He was even proud to sacrifice an area so beautiful knowing the benefit to his nation and stature in the world it brought.  He would have sacrificed 10 for even a sliver of military advantage.  
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The '''Republic of Kalsomonia''', commonly known as '''Kalsomonia''', is a [[Kalsomonic Meritocracy]] located on the [[East Asper]] continent. Kalsomonia borders the [[Republic of Megatridimensional Order]], which is to the south, [[The United States of Quentin]] to the west, and [[The Lankanata Ocean]] to the east. The nation was founded in 1950 with the signing of the [[Kalsomonia Pact]] with the [[Republic of Megatridimensional Order]], and the Kalsomonic government was set up 2 years later with the ratification of the [[Constitution of Kalsomonia]].
 +
 
 +
Historically neutral in its alliances, Kalsomonia has one of the most technologically advanced and concentrated militaries in the world, along with being the largest exporter of [[Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine]] (AAPL) in the form of [[Bawhacka]] plants, essential to the Kalsomonic economy.
 +
 
 +
== History ==
 +
 
 +
=== Background ===
 +
 
 +
A remote area of the planet that the [[Megatridimensional Order]] used for weapons testing that was left abandoned due to the nuclear fallout and long standing pollution from weapons testing.  No nation wanted to claim the area as it was deemed too expensive and difficult to clean up.  The Order viewed destruction of this area as a necessary to ensure its own military’s superiority and a collateral cost of supremacy.  The Order was proud to sacrifice an area so beautiful knowing the benefit to the nation and stature in the world it brought.  He would have sacrificed 10 for even a sliver of military advantage.  
 
   
 
   
−
Andrew Kalsom was a business major who found a niche in the weapons industry.  In Wagner’s society the weapons industry was business and business was good.  Being fascinated at the mechanics and chemical reactions involved in weapons, Kalsom developed a hobby as a chemist.  He developed many new compounds and chemicals which were more effective at destroying things at the molecular level.  This knowledge would serve him well later to create as opposed to destroy.   
+
[[Andrew Kalsom]] was a business major who found a niche in the Order's weapons industry.  In the Order, the weapons industry was business and business was good.  Being fascinated at the mechanics and chemical reactions involved in weapons, Kalsom developed a hobby as a chemist.  He developed many new compounds and chemicals which were more effective at destroying things at the molecular level.  This knowledge would serve him well later to create as opposed to destroy.   
 +
 
 +
Kalsom felt overwhelming guilt over destroying this previously beautiful area left the Order and started planting banana trees which helped neutralize the nuclear waste with its high potassium content.  After realizing the banana trees were more effective at cleaning the environment than originally thought, Andrew spent more time in the area and grew to love it.  He would take frequent trips there, eventually bringing his friends and colleagues to experience the desolate but improving natural beauty of the area.  Many <sup>[[who?]]</sup> grew to love it as much as Andrew.  In <sup>[[when?]]</sup> Andrew and a group of friends moved to the region, in an area that had been cleaned by the banana trees enough to sustain a community.  Upon moving there and making clean-up a full time job, the area quickly improved and a larger section was available for development.  All of this development was done in secret under cover of darkness to not attract attention.  A logistics network of supplies was established with an underground network of people aware and supportive of the cleanup.  Everyone involved was happy to be part of something with such a tangible benefit associated with it.
 +
 
 +
=== Origin ===
 +
 
 +
In 1950 Kalsom negotiated a deal with the Order to cede control of Kalsomonia and bring it under sovereign control.  The [[Kalsomonia Pact]] transferred all responsibility and ownership of Kalsomonia to Kalsom, who became sole owner of the land.  The Order also agreed to never claim future rights, liens, or ownership of the land in perpetuity.  The Order felt it would never be a habitable area and thought Kalsom was “nuts” thinking it could ever be salvaged.  Kalsom happily accepted the deal but did not trust the Order to honor the deal.  Kalsom made national defense a priority immediately upon signing the agreement. 
 +
 
 +
Kalsom grew wealthy as a scientist and weapons developer for the Order and received numerous accolades and awards.  Kalsom was trusted by the Order and the Order deeply appreciated the work Kalsom had done on the weapons program.  The [[Prime Minister of the MTO|Prime Minister]] even named a building in the defense facility complex after him (the one that housed the janitorial supplies).  Kalsom privately claimed to distrust the Order and disagreed with his methods, societal structure, and management style.
 +
 
 +
As the area became green with vegetation and a new plant developed with some laboratory help, [[Bawhacka]] (also known as Wacka-Wacka).  Bawhacka is similar to a banana but instead of round, they have a pentagon shaped cutaway.  They contain the chemical compound Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) which acts as sedative in small doses, causes sleep in medium doses, and death in high doses. Those who tried Wacka-Wacka felt a sense of calm about everything and it rapidly became a popular recreational drug amongst the local community.  After only being shared with the Kalsom network, use of the drug expanded to the general population a few years after the Kalsomonia Pact, and demand for wacka-wacka exploded. 
 +
 
 +
The logistics network initially established as a supply line became the network for wacka-wacka distribution throughout Kalsomonia.  What started as shacks and small shelters, grew into large, comfortable houses and mansions.
 +
 
 +
'''Megatridimensional Visit'''
  
−
Andrew Kalsom who felt overwhelming guilt over destroying this previously beautiful area left Ben’s society and started planting banana trees which helped neutralize the nuclear waste with its high potassium content. After realizing the banana trees were more effective at cleaning the environment than originally thought, Andrew spent more time in the area and grew to love it. He would take frequent trips there, eventually bringing his friends and colleagues to experience the desolate but improving natural beauty of the area.  Many grew to love it as much as Andrew.  In *year* Andrew and a group of friends moved to the region, in an area that had been cleaned by the banana trees enough to sustain a community.  Upon moving there and making clean-up a full time job, the area quickly improved and a larger section was available for development.  All of this development was done in secret under cover of darkness to not attract attention.  A logistics network of supplies was established with an underground network of people aware and supportive of the cleanup.  Everyone involved was happy to be part of something with such a tangible benefit associated with it.
+
In July of 1956, representatives from the [[Republic of Megatridimensional Order]] paid the country an unannounced visit. [[Belize Montrato]], the pilot for the Prime Minister, wrote about the trip in his memoirs.  "The [[Prime Minister of the MTO|Prime Minister]] boarded my military helicopter to 'Check up on those flower children in the mountains.' He was cracking jokes, like 'How many drum circles do you think we will see?' I didn't respond, but I heard him complain to his aid that I was 'too serious.' He boarded the chopper with a strut of superiority, knowing Andrew made such a stupid deal, but it was clear he hoped he was still alive. After the 4 hour flight we arrived at the mountains.  The Prime Minister commented that the mountains "didn't seem as gray and dismal as he remembered." He actually seemed optimistic and that maybe this place wasn’t as bad as he last saw.   
  
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In Year xxxx Kalsom negotiated a deal with Ben’s government to annex Kalsomonia and bring it under sovereign control.  The Kalsom-Wagner pact of xxxx absolved Wagner from all responsibility, and ownership of Kalsomonia in exchange for Kalsom’s sole ownership of the land.  Wagner also agreed to never claim future rights, liens, or ownership of the land in perpetuity.  Wagner was happy to agree to this deal as he thought it would never be a habitable area and thought Kalsom was “nuts” thinking it could ever be salvaged. Kalsom happily accepted the deal but knew Wagner would not honor the deal if he ever saw a benefit to reneging on the deal.  He made national defense a priority upon signing the agreement.   
+
We passed over the low clouds the scenery opened up to dense green vegetation and a waterfall gently gliding off a distant glacier.  The Prime Minister was clearly pleased when he realized this place had become beautiful again.  He couldn’t wait to see what was next on the horizon.  Orchards of what looked like banana trees stretched as far as he could see.  A bustling metropolis appeared at the end of the groves.  A statue of a smiling, skinny guy holding a bunch of bananas over his should was positioned in the center of the city.  The Prime Minister began talking rapidly: 'What is with these guys and bananas?  Why does that statue have such a punchable face?  Where the hell am I?  What is happening?' Then he seemed to shift rapidly from enthralled to outraged.  'How did that little sh*t do this?!' he exclaimed to his pilot.  'This place is fragging beautiful!'  I was worried that the Minister would do something rash, so I began to gain altitude and speed and said  'We're running low on fuel, sir.  Heading home.'  I said it calmly and matter-of-factly, but luckily he was too incensed at that moment to care.  He bobbed back and forth in his seat becoming angrier with every shift.  'Nobody gets to do this... that area is mine.  It’s always been mine and it will be mine again”.   He punched the window as he realized the oxymoron.  Ironically, he really could have used some wacka-wacka."  
  
−
Kalsom grew wealthy as a scientist and weapons developer for Wagner’s regime and received numerous accolades and awards including a personal audience with Wagner himself.  Wagner trusted Kalsom and deeply appreciated the work Kalsom had done on the weapons program.  Wagner even named a building in the defense facility complex after him (the one that housed the janitorial supplies).  Kalsom never trusted Wagner or agreed with his methods, societal structure, or management style. 
+
Feeling duped by Kalsom, the Prime Minister ordered an attack on Kalsomonia to reclaim the land for the Order.  Since the Prime Minister does not have the power to unilaterally declare war in the [[Republic of Megatridimensional Order]], and with the Prime Minister's refusal to stand down, the Prime Minister was impeached and spent the rest of his life in an Order run mental facility. The Order paid no more interest in the land until 1958, as the [[Megatridimensional Civil War]] had drawn the attention of the government to internal issues.  
−
As the area became green with vegetation and a new plant developed with some laboratory help, Bawhacka also known as Wacka-Wacka on the street.  Bawhacka is similar to a banana but instead of round, they have a pentagon shaped cutaway. They contain a chemical compound: Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) which acts as sedative in small doses, causes sleep in medium doses, and death in high doses.  Everyone who tried Wacka-Wacka felt a sense of calm about everything and it rapidly became a popular recreational drug amongst the local community.  After only being shared with the Kalsom network, use of the drug expanded to the general population and demand for wacka-wacka exploded.
 
  
−
The logistics network initially established as a supply line became the network for wacka-wacka distribution throughout the country.  What started as shacks and small shelters, grew into large, comfortable houses and mansions. 
+
=== Kalsomonian Reclamation Conflict and Constitution ===
  
−
6 years after the agreement was signed, Wagner boarded a military helicopter to “Check up on those flower children in the mountains.  How many drum circles do you think we will see?” He asked his pilot, who didn’t respond.  That guy is too serious.  He boarded the chopper with a strut of superiority, knowing Andrew made such a stupid deal, but deep down hoping he is still alive. 
+
The [[Kalsomonian Reclamation Conflict]], so named by Megatridimensional officials at the time, began in late 1958. The Prime Minister of the MTO, [[Luru Grimtog]], declared Kalsomonia a rebellious territory, and invaded the country in an attempt to unify the nation over a common goal. Kalsomonia did not have much of a military, however with Kalsom's leadership, the country raised a small force, which quickly repelled the attackers. The Kalsomonic troops reportedly used biological weapons, including weaponized AAPL, to assist the defense of the country. After the failed attack, Kalsom sent communications to the Order attempting to talk peace, however received threats in response. After scattered fighting lasting through January of 1959, the Order recalled most of its troops, and the left soon were scrambled as the Civil War recommenced in full force in 1959. The Kalsomonian troops declared victory, and the country brought a council together to work on a Constitution for the benefit of the country. On May 19th, 1959, the [[Constitution of Kalsomonia]] was ratified by the hastily-assembled committee, and the new country was officially founded, with Andrew Kalsom as the first [[Chancellor of Kalsomonia|Chancellor]].
−
After the 4 hour commute they arrived at the mountains. They didn’t seem as gray and dismal as he remembered.  He was filled with a sense of hope that maybe this place wasn’t as bad as he last saw.  As they passed over the low clouds the scenery opened up to dense green vegetation and a waterfall gently gliding off a distant glacier. Wagner’s heart raced as he realized this place had become beautiful again.  He couldn’t wait to see what was next on the horizon.  Orchards of what looked like banana trees stretched as far as he could see. A bustling metropolis appeared at the end of the groves. A statue of a smiling, skinny guy holding a bunch of bananas over his should was positioned in the center of the city. What is with these guys and bananas?  Why does that statue have such a punchable face?  Where the hell am I?  What is happening? His thoughts raced. Wagner rapidly went from enthralled to outraged.  “How did that little shit do this?!” he exclaimed to his pilot.  “This place is fragging beautiful!”.  Silently, the pilot began to gain altitude and speed.  “Running low on fuel, sir.  Heading home.”  The pilot mentioned matter-of-factly.  (He wasn’t).  Wagner bobbed back and forth in his seat becoming angrier with every shift.  “Nobody gets to do this”, he stewed.  “That area is mine.  It’s always been mine and it will be mine again”.  He punched the window as he realized the oxymoron. He really could have used some wacka-wacka. 
+
 
−
Feeling duped by Kalsom, Wagner ordered an attack on Kalsomonia to reclaim the land for Wagnerdom.  Claiming at the time “Those hippies think they’re so smart, drum circle this!”  The only rule of engagement Wagner issued was no chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons could be used, as that would be counterproductive to reasserting ownership over the newly refurbished land.  This left a frontal assault of infantry as the only option.
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<!-- Putting the rest in the comments here viewable on edit>
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 +
Claiming at the time “Those hippies think they’re so smart, drum circle this!”  The only rule of engagement Wagner issued was no chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons could be used, as that would be counterproductive to reasserting ownership over the newly refurbished land.  This left a frontal assault of infantry as the only option.
  
 
Weaponized AAPL.  Using his knowledge of molecular technology, Kalsom and his team developed a super concentrated AAPL with the smallest molecular structure possible to be able to penetrate the most effective gas masks, making them useless.  The concentrated AAPL could get through any air filtration system and as such was very dangerous to handle.  Sealed glass cases with rubber glove access were required for any handling of the chemical.   
 
Weaponized AAPL.  Using his knowledge of molecular technology, Kalsom and his team developed a super concentrated AAPL with the smallest molecular structure possible to be able to penetrate the most effective gas masks, making them useless.  The concentrated AAPL could get through any air filtration system and as such was very dangerous to handle.  Sealed glass cases with rubber glove access were required for any handling of the chemical.   
Line 30: Line 111:
 
Control and regulation of AAPL.
 
Control and regulation of AAPL.
 
Wagner instituted an agency whose purview is to completely control the flow, distribution, and application of AAPL across the nation.  All sales and distribution were under his complete control and he had final authority over every decision made on AAPL.
 
Wagner instituted an agency whose purview is to completely control the flow, distribution, and application of AAPL across the nation.  All sales and distribution were under his complete control and he had final authority over every decision made on AAPL.
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--!>
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== Geography, Climate, and Environment ==
 +
 +
Kalsomonia is known for its temperate/warm climate and nice weather year round.  The country's geography is abundant with rivers, forests, and mountains. The terrain is usually rough, sometimes even inaccessible due to the [[Tennomore Mountains]] to the west. These mountains also provide numerous natural water sources, such as small lakes and glaciers.

Latest revision as of 20:40, 6 April 2021

Republic of Kalsomonia
[[image: |x78px|Flag of Republic of Kalsomonia]] [[image: |x78px|Coat of Arms of Republic of Kalsomonia]]
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto:
Anthem:
Geography
[[image:|225px|Location of Republic of Kalsomonia]]
Area 200,634km2
Highest point Mount Vasamon, 0.9 Miles
Longest river Quay River
Demographics
Population 89 million
• Growth 1.9%/year
Median age 41.4 years
Demonym Kalsomonians
History
Kalsomonia Pact Signed: August 4th, 1950
Constitution Ratified: May 19th, 1959
Government
Capital Cobain
Official language English
Type Kalsomonic Meritocracy
Legislature Smart Guy Circle
Chancellor: Kurt Radcliffe
Bawhacka Representative: Eleanor Cobain
Commerce Representative: Ulysses Amental
Technology Representative: Loki Thomas
Cities Cobain
Kalsomant
Wacka City
Economy
Currency Trio (ŧ) (TR)
GDP ŧ451.94 billion ($451.94 billion)
• Per capita ŧ81,764 ($81,764)
• Growth 5.4%/year
Sectors

44% Agriculture
30% Industry
26% Services

Unemployment 1.3%
Development
Life expectancy 81.3 years
Clean water access 100%
Literacy 99.9%
Enrollment 99.9%
• Primary 99.9%
• Secondary 99.9%
• Tertiary 99.9%
Standards
Measures Metric
Date format Month-day-year
Traffic Right
Codes
ISO code KLM
Internet TLD .aapl
Time Zones VST+4 (Tennomore Standard Time)
Calling code +41

Note: union of the bawhacka industry rep, union of commerce and exports rep, representative for the union of the kalsomonic technology front .

The Republic of Kalsomonia, commonly known as Kalsomonia, is a Kalsomonic Meritocracy located on the East Asper continent. Kalsomonia borders the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, which is to the south, The United States of Quentin to the west, and The Lankanata Ocean to the east. The nation was founded in 1950 with the signing of the Kalsomonia Pact with the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, and the Kalsomonic government was set up 2 years later with the ratification of the Constitution of Kalsomonia.

Historically neutral in its alliances, Kalsomonia has one of the most technologically advanced and concentrated militaries in the world, along with being the largest exporter of Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) in the form of Bawhacka plants, essential to the Kalsomonic economy.

History

Background

A remote area of the planet that the Megatridimensional Order used for weapons testing that was left abandoned due to the nuclear fallout and long standing pollution from weapons testing. No nation wanted to claim the area as it was deemed too expensive and difficult to clean up. The Order viewed destruction of this area as a necessary to ensure its own military’s superiority and a collateral cost of supremacy. The Order was proud to sacrifice an area so beautiful knowing the benefit to the nation and stature in the world it brought. He would have sacrificed 10 for even a sliver of military advantage.

Andrew Kalsom was a business major who found a niche in the Order's weapons industry. In the Order, the weapons industry was business and business was good. Being fascinated at the mechanics and chemical reactions involved in weapons, Kalsom developed a hobby as a chemist. He developed many new compounds and chemicals which were more effective at destroying things at the molecular level. This knowledge would serve him well later to create as opposed to destroy.

Kalsom felt overwhelming guilt over destroying this previously beautiful area left the Order and started planting banana trees which helped neutralize the nuclear waste with its high potassium content. After realizing the banana trees were more effective at cleaning the environment than originally thought, Andrew spent more time in the area and grew to love it. He would take frequent trips there, eventually bringing his friends and colleagues to experience the desolate but improving natural beauty of the area. Many who? grew to love it as much as Andrew. In when? Andrew and a group of friends moved to the region, in an area that had been cleaned by the banana trees enough to sustain a community. Upon moving there and making clean-up a full time job, the area quickly improved and a larger section was available for development. All of this development was done in secret under cover of darkness to not attract attention. A logistics network of supplies was established with an underground network of people aware and supportive of the cleanup. Everyone involved was happy to be part of something with such a tangible benefit associated with it.

Origin

In 1950 Kalsom negotiated a deal with the Order to cede control of Kalsomonia and bring it under sovereign control. The Kalsomonia Pact transferred all responsibility and ownership of Kalsomonia to Kalsom, who became sole owner of the land. The Order also agreed to never claim future rights, liens, or ownership of the land in perpetuity. The Order felt it would never be a habitable area and thought Kalsom was “nuts” thinking it could ever be salvaged. Kalsom happily accepted the deal but did not trust the Order to honor the deal. Kalsom made national defense a priority immediately upon signing the agreement.

Kalsom grew wealthy as a scientist and weapons developer for the Order and received numerous accolades and awards. Kalsom was trusted by the Order and the Order deeply appreciated the work Kalsom had done on the weapons program. The Prime Minister even named a building in the defense facility complex after him (the one that housed the janitorial supplies). Kalsom privately claimed to distrust the Order and disagreed with his methods, societal structure, and management style.

As the area became green with vegetation and a new plant developed with some laboratory help, Bawhacka (also known as Wacka-Wacka). Bawhacka is similar to a banana but instead of round, they have a pentagon shaped cutaway. They contain the chemical compound Amalgamated Aluminum Potassium Lysine (AAPL) which acts as sedative in small doses, causes sleep in medium doses, and death in high doses. Those who tried Wacka-Wacka felt a sense of calm about everything and it rapidly became a popular recreational drug amongst the local community. After only being shared with the Kalsom network, use of the drug expanded to the general population a few years after the Kalsomonia Pact, and demand for wacka-wacka exploded.

The logistics network initially established as a supply line became the network for wacka-wacka distribution throughout Kalsomonia. What started as shacks and small shelters, grew into large, comfortable houses and mansions.

Megatridimensional Visit

In July of 1956, representatives from the Republic of Megatridimensional Order paid the country an unannounced visit. Belize Montrato, the pilot for the Prime Minister, wrote about the trip in his memoirs. "The Prime Minister boarded my military helicopter to 'Check up on those flower children in the mountains.' He was cracking jokes, like 'How many drum circles do you think we will see?' I didn't respond, but I heard him complain to his aid that I was 'too serious.' He boarded the chopper with a strut of superiority, knowing Andrew made such a stupid deal, but it was clear he hoped he was still alive. After the 4 hour flight we arrived at the mountains. The Prime Minister commented that the mountains "didn't seem as gray and dismal as he remembered." He actually seemed optimistic and that maybe this place wasn’t as bad as he last saw.

We passed over the low clouds the scenery opened up to dense green vegetation and a waterfall gently gliding off a distant glacier. The Prime Minister was clearly pleased when he realized this place had become beautiful again. He couldn’t wait to see what was next on the horizon. Orchards of what looked like banana trees stretched as far as he could see. A bustling metropolis appeared at the end of the groves. A statue of a smiling, skinny guy holding a bunch of bananas over his should was positioned in the center of the city. The Prime Minister began talking rapidly: 'What is with these guys and bananas? Why does that statue have such a punchable face? Where the hell am I? What is happening?' Then he seemed to shift rapidly from enthralled to outraged. 'How did that little sh*t do this?!' he exclaimed to his pilot. 'This place is fragging beautiful!' I was worried that the Minister would do something rash, so I began to gain altitude and speed and said 'We're running low on fuel, sir. Heading home.' I said it calmly and matter-of-factly, but luckily he was too incensed at that moment to care. He bobbed back and forth in his seat becoming angrier with every shift. 'Nobody gets to do this... that area is mine. It’s always been mine and it will be mine again”. He punched the window as he realized the oxymoron. Ironically, he really could have used some wacka-wacka."

Feeling duped by Kalsom, the Prime Minister ordered an attack on Kalsomonia to reclaim the land for the Order. Since the Prime Minister does not have the power to unilaterally declare war in the Republic of Megatridimensional Order, and with the Prime Minister's refusal to stand down, the Prime Minister was impeached and spent the rest of his life in an Order run mental facility. The Order paid no more interest in the land until 1958, as the Megatridimensional Civil War had drawn the attention of the government to internal issues.

Kalsomonian Reclamation Conflict and Constitution

The Kalsomonian Reclamation Conflict, so named by Megatridimensional officials at the time, began in late 1958. The Prime Minister of the MTO, Luru Grimtog, declared Kalsomonia a rebellious territory, and invaded the country in an attempt to unify the nation over a common goal. Kalsomonia did not have much of a military, however with Kalsom's leadership, the country raised a small force, which quickly repelled the attackers. The Kalsomonic troops reportedly used biological weapons, including weaponized AAPL, to assist the defense of the country. After the failed attack, Kalsom sent communications to the Order attempting to talk peace, however received threats in response. After scattered fighting lasting through January of 1959, the Order recalled most of its troops, and the left soon were scrambled as the Civil War recommenced in full force in 1959. The Kalsomonian troops declared victory, and the country brought a council together to work on a Constitution for the benefit of the country. On May 19th, 1959, the Constitution of Kalsomonia was ratified by the hastily-assembled committee, and the new country was officially founded, with Andrew Kalsom as the first Chancellor.


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